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| This semester, I'm taking a class called Teaching Grammar and Composition. We have "writer's notebook" assignments. Since I don't actually have time to update this site but wish that I did, the next few posts will be my favorite notebook entries.
The prompt for this was a list of things that give you hope and a list of things that cause you to lose hope...
got hope?
50 degree days in the middle of winter
when everyone is sweating
and wearing flip flops
and grinning like idiots
the man I've never seen before
who rushes to hold the door for me,
smiles and says good morning
shrieking laughter
that makes everyone within earshot chuckle
just at the sound of it
despite themselves
the light in my friend's eyes
when she says, "I know exactly what you mean!"
and the light in my own spirit
when I know she is telling the truth
a hot shower
after I've been sick in bed
for three days
when I overhear the camper
who cried when her parents left on Sunday
talking excitedly on Thursday about climbing the wall in the barn
at camp next summer
beach towels and blankets
littering the Quad
spontaneous group singing
lost hope?
the crowd on the sidewalk
doesn't bother to take
even one step to the side
and I have to step into the grass
or the snow
or the mud
or oncoming traffic
the same arguement
the same awkward silence
the same angry silence
the same self-pity
stuck
standardized tests:
school reduced
to bubble sheets
the printer from 1995
that has tricked me once again
into thinking it will be reliable
catching myself complaining about the weather
or the cafeteria's version of mac and cheese
or the boring Chapel speaker
when I pass an old friend
and we both look down
and keep walking
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| Wide Eyed Life.Wake up. Take it all in.The beauty of Spring–green leaves, green grass, colorful flowers. The smell of morning. The smell of rain. The sound of the birds declaring the season.The people–they’re more than faces, more than names, more than statistics. The person in line behind you has an incredible past–I bet you’d be surprised. She has an exciting future too, but you’ll never know. And just for those five minutes in line, you were part of her life.The joy–the couple out for a walk with their new baby boy. You smile at them because you know. You know the joy they feel and the challenges they’ll face, and you wonder, just as they do, what that baby will become. The sadness–You pass a young girl sitting on a bench, her head in her hands. Is she waiting for someone? You’ll never know, but you sense that something is wrong.The suffering–You know that poverty is a reality, but when you see it, you don’t know what to do. So you turn your face the other way and keep on driving.But you saw it. You can’t ignore it. You saw the pain in his eyes.Because your eyes were wide open. And so were his.And now you have to do something about it. | | |
| I'm not sure when I stopped writing, exactly. When I was in elementary school, I started a new novel every month or so! (I rarely made it past Chapter One, but that's beside the point.) I think I stopped writing stories sometime in middle school, and by high school, I wasn't writing much of anything that wasn't to fulfil a school assignment. For awhile now, I've thought of reading and writing for pleasure as a part of my childhood--something that I outgrew. I've spent the past several years lamenting the fact that "I just don't have an imagination anymore." What kind of nonsense is that?! Can you really just "lose" your imagination? I don't think so. No, I've been ignoring my imagination, it's been a long time since it's gotten any regular exercise, and it's weak, but it's still there. Just like a muscle that's been neglected, it can be strenthened and put to good use again. I have things to say, discover, feel, convey. For so long, I've been at a loss for words. I still am, really. But I'm not accepting that anymore. I'm going to search for the words. I'm going to open my ears to the voices of others, and I'm going to rediscover my own voice. I've been shallow and silent for too long. | | |
| it's such a hard lesson to learn. realizing that you're not as strong as you thought you were...finding out that there's something that's beyond your control that's keeping you from accomplishing what you want to accomplish...realizing that you're not in control, period...that stinks. life would be so much better if we would give up all our pride and let God have complete control. but the process of doing that--the process of humbling ourselves--is so hard. *sigh* | | |
| i love it! the past several days, i've been spending a lot of time in my backyard and on my front porch. this is only my second summer in this house, and i'm just now starting to feel at home here. i found a spot in the yard that i love (i'd be out there now, but the neighbor is working on his fence  ) and i've discovered that the porch is the perfect place to be on a warm night. i leave for staff training in 5 days! i'm so excited--i don't know all of the staff yet, but i can tell it's going to be a good group and we're going to have a great summer. my first camp of the summer will be a senior high camp. i'm a little nervous about that, to be completely honest! last summer, my campers were all 12 and under. this is a completely different thing. it will be fun though, i'm sure. but it's weird for me to realize that my campers will be the same age as some of my friends! Bible study starts on saturday. i'm so thankful for this opportunity. i love the way God works!! (by the way, if any of you girls in the area would like to come, talk to me! it's saturday at 1...) this month has gone by pretty quickly... i've gone to 7 track meets--thank goodness that's over, lol! Nathan made it all the way to regionals (yay!) and earned an 8th place medal in the 3200m run. he needed 4th to make it to states, but those kids were so stinking fast...we'll be going next year though!  i know there's things i'm supposed to be doing, but i don't know what they are, so i'll probably just go read a good book  ¡adios! | | |
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